Using my mattress as a 401k

So, the CEO of Danno Industries is home sick today. Home sick, in the middle of Rockefeller Center, with nothing to do but pull a few strings on ETRADE and laugh helplessly at those cute talking babies who keep toying with me as I attempt to make a twelve-o-clock trade. You know what I'm talkin about..

I could wack his ass in a game in a game of chip and putt any day....

But, I better get to the real point of this post. (I know your OCD blog-to-blog attention span is slowly waning).

Before the great crash of the last-quarter of 2007, I was a total fiscal conservative. I thought the government had no business of interfering with my famed Fortune 5000 company (yes, it does exist, thanks to dumdumdiga-ga). I mean, I was just kicking it old school, no regulation whatsoever. At one point, I was transporting a lump sum of 10.7 million smackerooos in an old mattress just to prove to my friend over in SoHo that I had the dough. (I won that bet by the way...he gave me a $5000 stake in his investment securities firm. I'm still trying to collect off his blasted website).

Given the success of my matress-carrying caper, I've continued to partcipate in the grand tradition of transporting some $10 million stowed a way in a nice Stearns and Foster pillowtop in and around New York City proper.

'ol Betsy goin at for a walk in Central Park (trees and overall scenery unfortunately not visible)

Yep, I was rolling in a couple thousand each day because my rich-ass friends refused to believe that I had the chutzpah to carry around my company's principal in such grand fashion.

That is, until the government got in the way.

Those pinko-Commies issued me a citation because they said I couldn't promote my wealth in way that was sooo risky for my investors.

Now how unfair is that! The government always gets in the way of efficient business!! Gaaaaahhhhhhh...

So, I've come to conclude that I, CEO of Danno Industries, am still very much a fiscal conservative.