UFC Buffalo Meat

Fundraising, fundraising, fundrasing. It seems like the only people who are making money these days are the ones are providing the basic needs of the people. Food. Sex. Clothes.



Look, we've got to invest in one of the three. Food is definitely overrated. It's not like its crucial to survival, or brightens the soul in the darkest of times. With the exception of buffalo meat...oh goodness gracious. Let's take a looksie:














Here we have two different types of the scrumptious delectabilities known as buffalo. They hail from the same area, and are almost indistinguishable. However, the latter has reported to cause much more violence. Notice the ample meat around the cheek and neck area.


Now that your palinate is wet, we are going to propose our proposition. Report our reportation. Food is definitely out of the question, due to an unfair bias. Clothes are stupid. And warm. So that leaves sex.

Unfortunately, we are in a bit of a bind here. We just picked up a client located in a penitentiary (whatever that is) by the name of Mr. Spitzer (his first name rhymes with Elliot). He has expressed his concern not to invest in the selling of...well, uh, you know. Plus, it might be illegal in all 50 states, and perhaps Guam.

But we will not back down! We are currently beginning an operation in a revolutionary new sport called UFC. It involves two people fighting to the death in an enclosed box. It just so happens that is a regular occurence in our offices. So...why not make money off it? All current employees not on severance will immediately be deported to UFC, where we they will be sold and then fought to the death to the viewing pleasure of the American public.

Genius?!